Thursday, March 02, 2006

Film Companies unite to service locals better.

Auckland based film companies Mopix and Republic films have united to
form a new company called 'Automatic' and have set up offices in the old
Carters building in Morningside. Automatic will represent the directors
Sigi Spath, Simon Mark-Brown, Greg Wood, Brian Challis, Mike Oldershaw,
Alyx Duncan, Fane Flaws and Tony Drayton as well as Australian directors
Mick Connolly and Darren Ashton. "We've all known each other for years"
says Producer Declan Cahill "and we've always got on with each other so
it made sense for us to join forces". Republic's Simon Mark-Brown also
says "the new strength in numbers means we can really dedicate ourselves
to the local market where we feel our loyalties truly lie."

37 Comments:

Anonymous Simon Mark-Brown said...

Is that it?! Is that the press release you’ve been ‘working-on’ for the last two weeks?! Fuck-me-sideways it’s no wonder you and Sigi haven’t been getting any work if that’s the best you can do, your director’s treatments must be fucking awful.

12:09 AM  
Anonymous Declan Cahill said...

Producers and Creatives don’t want a bunch of waffle or gimmicks. They just want to know the facts. We decided to keep it simple and just let everyone know what was going on. The press release might not be great but it’s still better then sending everyone a fucking t-shirt.

12:10 AM  
Anonymous Sigi Spath said...

Here’s a treatment for you .

We open on a dimly lit room in a mundane office building. The camera is at eye level. The room appears empty but we can hear a voice ranting incoherently. The camera slowly tilts down three feet to reveal the voice is coming from an unusually short man in an ill-fitting Republic T-shirt.

Cut to graphic: Fuck you Simon.

12:11 AM  
Anonymous Simon Mark-Brown said...

Hardy-fucking-ha-ha. At least we had a name to put on a T-shirt, Jeez you guys have had so many name changes in the last six months you’ve become a standing joke. And what’s this bullshit about me saying in the press release “the new strength in numbers means we can really dedicate ourselves to the local market where we feel our loyalties truly lie”?! I never fucking said that! it doesn’t even make sense and I come across looking like a prat.

12:12 AM  
Anonymous Greg Wood said...

Simon’s right, the press release is pretty lame. It doesn’t say anything about us, it doesn’t say anything about what we want to do and it doesn’t really explain why we have all decided to join up in the first place. How about we do our own 24 hour film festival? We all get Bolex’s and then we all shoot our own interpretation of another director? Could be kind of cool… and then we could invite all the agencies to a showing in an old warehouse with huge speakers pumping out electronic music etc….

12:14 AM  
Anonymous Sigi Spath said...

Grown-ups are talking here Greg, why don’t you go and have a nice cup of tea with the photographer...

12:15 AM  
Anonymous Tony Drayton said...

Get fucked Sigi.

12:16 AM  
Anonymous Mike Oldershaw said...

Jeez you guys are angry bastards. I thought the whole idea of Automatic was for us directors to come together and work as a team.

12:17 AM  
Anonymous Sigi Spath said...

Who the fuck is Mike Oldershaw?

12:18 AM  
Anonymous Darren Ashton said...

There’s no ‘I’ in team…

12:18 AM  
Anonymous Fane Flaws said...

…but there’s a 'U' in cunt dickhead.

12:20 AM  
Anonymous Darren Ashton said...

That's lovely. I’m surprised you can spell or even have a computer let alone know how to work it. Shouldn’t you be painting some sort of over-priced piece of crap instead of pretending to be a director?

12:22 AM  
Anonymous Fane Flaws said...

Darren fuckin Ashton - world famous for doing fuck all. Where would Proctor and Gamble be without you.

12:23 AM  
Anonymous Darren Ashton said...

At least my claim to fame isn’t some crap song from the 70’s! “TEARS! I feel them on my cheeks, TEARS! I’ve been this way for weeks, TEARS! I’m right back at the start, TEARS! You’re TEARING ME APART!”

Nice work. You rhymed ‘cheeks’ with ‘weeks’.

12:24 AM  
Anonymous Fane Flaws said...

Well at least you remember the song which is more than can be said for anything on your forgettable reel - I had a record contract with Mushroom once - It was run by Michael Gudinski - another typical Aussie - so tight he'd go underwater and give head to fish if there was a dollar in the tank! You’re all the fucking same.

12:26 AM  
Anonymous Declan Cahill said...

Mike’s right, bickering amongst ourselves is not helpful. We need to present a unified front for Automatic both here and in Australia. Automatic needs to be known as the default film house for the best directors in both countries. And this is going to require some major bullshitting from everybody.

12:27 AM  
Anonymous Sigi Spath said...

Seriously. Who the fuck is Mike Oldershaw?

12:28 AM  
Anonymous Brian Challis said...

I think the whole Automatic thing is good but I don’t know why we have to hook up with these Australian guys at all. Darren Ashton is a horribly working class Ozzie (probably from some god forsaken Queensland outback dump), sure he’s quite funny and quite good but hardly worth the extra $650 to fly him over though surely?

Mick Connelly’s from Melbourne so a bit better but still Australian at the end of the day. Again quite funny, quite dry, quite good, but I think Melbourne’s about $700 away so again, not really worth it.

12:28 AM  
Anonymous Mick Connelly said...

You kiwis are so far up your own arses. Look at the ‘talent’ we have to push over here for you.

Sigi Spath - who’s so f*cked up he thinks Declan’s a good producer.

Simon Mark Brown – who everyone just calls “that c*nt Simon”

Fane Flaws – whose whole reel looks like f*cking bad 60’s art wank.

Greg Wood – whose whole reel looks like he was taught directing by Fane Flaws.

Brian Challis – who you can’t even guarantee will turn up for a shoot if there’s surf.

Alyx Duncan – who can’t even spell her own god damn name right.

Tony Drayton – who’s just a f*cking photographer.

And some guy called Mike Oldershaw that nobody’s even heard of!

F*ck me! If it wasn’t for me and Darren you’d have f*ck all!

12:30 AM  
Anonymous Tony Drayton said...

I’m not a fucking photographer!!!

12:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're all ridiculous.
I'd rather shoot on camcorder than using you morons

8:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These guys are brilliant!!!!!!!

8:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Use a 12 yr old with a mini-dv $20
Use these guys on 35mm $200,000

Same result

9:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Agree. Best PR for a bunch of filmsters ever.

9:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The first rule of fight club is that you don't talk about fight club.

9:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

isnt automatic a melbourne pdn co?

9:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ace work. I like the word 'ace'.

9:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny. "Best use of blog" award, anyone?

10:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seriously hilarious!! This better be some sort of NZ Girl type viral marketing. If not... can't honestly see anyone giving you any work.

10:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cam corders, pam schmorders.
Still need someone who can tell stories.

10:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well I'm giving them my next job. If I ever get one through.

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

10:21AM, you are seriously retarded.

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We only want to work with retarded people anyway.

1:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yawn!!! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

3:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Original way to PR yourselves. Cool idea, nice one.

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's confirmed! Only silly kiwis with nothing else to do between scam ads post on this site.

You idiots! All this puffery from NZ every year is only ever matched by the lack of Cannes Lions every year.
Bugger! Was that it? I'm so ashamed! Bugger would have been so much better without a product.

Only the underdone aussies think you are any good.

8:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just found it - Entertaining - plus if creativity and innovation comes 'diversity shocks'- these guys might have something

11:57 AM  

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